Viva la Vida..!

Standing in the rain, I look up to the sky...

".............................Fuck."

My eyes are caught by the revolving clouds, dancing around, often letting a lonely ray of sunshine slip through them.
There's a weird sense of silence, amidst the shattering sound of heavy rain. By smothering every other noise, there is peace.

"Good, I can focus here."

Random ideas, actions, memories are racing through my skull at the speed of light, leaving but a trace of the line of thought that led me to them. I avert them to one goal, a single objective, a single purpose.

"Why am I here again? Of all the fucking people in the world... That's karma for ya. Son of a--"

There isn't an answer. Or at least I can't find one. More and more questions are popping up in my head.

"Is this it?"

Wait. Rewind a little. Think it through once more.

"Am I here... Because of my own path? My own actions?"

Heh. It's funny. When they said that history goes around in circles, only to repeat itself once more, I thought that it only applied to wars and such...

"Hmm... I think I get it now."

I knew that that fucking sentence about being hesitant would come back to bite me in the ass, the moment I wrote it. Hesitant my ass, I jumped into this head-first, I can't complain... nor would I, it's the path I chose. I have no regrets.

"I have no regrets."

I had to say it out loud. It's true. I have no regrets. Guilt, now that I have enough to go around. Regrets? None whatsoever. Fuck them. Fuck them all the way to the innermost chamber of the lowest circle of hell.

"Heh. Who knew that I could feel this way? After everything that happened, this is a surprise..! Wanting to know someone, better than I know myself..."

Soulmates. Destiny. Love. Hate. Friendship. Fate.
Ethereal, abstract concepts, lost the moment you try to turn them into something tangible. Nevertheless, they exist. And in our existence we turn them into goals, we lead our lives by them... Hell, we die for them.

"Could it be more fucking ironic? To become the person whom I hated the most and despised with every ounce of strenght in my body."

Karma, fate, coincidence, destiny, some childish god's designs, or a fallen angel's petty games, call it whatever you like. Believe what you will. I'm of little faith, but this sure seems like someone's trying to teach me a lesson.

"Screw it. It's not the first time I'm jumping in with my eyes closed, and it sure as hell won't be the last. Everything goes when trying to reach those golden goals, huh?"

No regrets. I've become the one thing that I swore to myself I'd never come to be. And I have no regrets. I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

"I want this. And if in the end I have to blame someone, all I have to do to face that person is to stand in front of the fucking mirror. I want this."

It continues raining, no signs of it withering away. I lost track of time.

"Fuck, I'm soaked to the bone."

As I started walking home, leaving that trance-like state, I suddenly started hearing again everything that was silenced before. And the rain goes on. It's amazing what the human mind can do when focused.

Almost arriving home, the rain finally subsides. It served its purpose.

"Hey, I'm home... Freaking soaked, but home!"

Getting out of the drenched clothes, I look out the window and into the street. The sun is shining, no sign of the dark clouds that hovered above us. As sudden as it arrived, the rain disappeared.

"...No regrets."



Cliché do Dia

"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain."
- Unknown